“Love must be balanced”. This is a core teaching from Brian L Weiss’ Past Life Regression Therapy research and book Many Lives, Many Masters. I have been contemplating this notion of giving and receiving quite intensely of late as I found myself playing out old patterns and systems of behaviour that do not serve me in the least!
One thing I have discovered about myself and what I have noticed also in other women, is our boundless capacity to give. Giving to our families, giving to our jobs, giving to our partners, giving to our children, giving to our friends, giving to our communities. Giving beyond what we even have for ourselves.
Why is this so prevalent? As I observed the women in my family, their generosity and self-lessness to the point of depletion, I saw how this has been a story passed down the mother line from my Great-Grandmother all the way to my mother and now to me. Love is definitely not balanced in these observations. I set a strong intention this month to really investigate my capacity to also receive. How can I balance my generosity? Where in my life am I giving too much? And what is the impact of this?
True to form, as I asked myself these questions, the relationship mirror was ready to show me the impact of my over-sharing and over-giving nature. I uncovered my own resistance to allow anyone to give back to me and my hyper-independence stemming from not feeling safe to express my needs. As I ran for the hills in a total limbic overload, I saw how I was using my energy and also how to correct it and therefore bring myself back into alignment.
What I discovered is that by giving beyond my capacity, not only was I funneling my energy downward, I then felt resentment toward the very act of giving. For love to be balanced, my capacity to receive also need to increase. Then the energy of reciprocity creates a infinite flow of energy, of giving and receiving. And it doesn’t even have to be equal, it just needs to be open. Often the people we give our energy to need it and don’t have much to return to us. That is fine, there is always someone who is willing to give to us. The question is, are we open to receive it?
Here I could see where I needed to soften even more and allow the energy to balance out. Strengthening boundaries is also important. I often hear myself saying, ” I can’t do anymore” and then do that little bit more! So it is that I find that my limits are beyond what I think they are, yet I pay for it with my life-force. Learning to say no, or at least not now, has been useful.
Allowing my capacity to receive to expand a little more each day has shown me that the energy loop is more infinite. Givers, must also be receivers. And receivers must also be givers. Everything is energy, and to tap into the energy of abundance, it needs to flow, in and out. Up and down. The teaching that ‘Love must be balanced’ is my next new mantra.
Nazanin Marashian 