October has been a very juicy month for me. I am truly stepping into my Venus era. I feel the softening and opening of my heart and the confidence in allowing myself to be loved. It is a testament to how much healing and emotional safety I feel within myself. As I become clearer about who I am, I also understand better what I want to experience in my life. I notice the way my relationships ebb and flow with me. Every person that crosses my path is showing me something and I take value in this interaction.
Whilst it is near impossible to plan everything in life. I know there is a plan. I continue working on self-love and self-respect in every moment. Here, I am strengthening my YES and my NO. And really, if it’s not a ” hell yes” then its a no. Simple. Sometimes we overthink things. We attach to how someone made us feel and how spectacular the moment was. We attribute all the excitement to the other. What if, in fact, it was you seeing your wonderful self? What if, actually you were fully embodied in your alignment in that moment and that’s all that amazing feeling was? Relationships give us a window into the self. And a beautiful aspect of being in relationships is the emotional safety and vulnerability that a non-judgmental perspective brings.
Healing is a journey rather than a destination. All of our relationships show us how far we are on this journey. When you heal enough to realise that your happiness and how you experience life is actually coming from within, rather than externally, it is much easier to identify who and what is good for you. As I navigate this era of my life and the clarity in which I can feel and see myself, my discernment muscle is strengthening.
It is hard to walk away from someone or something we attach an emotional anchor too. In these circumstances, I then activate my inner compass. Part of healing in relationships is creating the ‘safe’ space to unravel. However, it is always you who needs to stitch yourself back together. If we attribute our healing to the other then that creates a co-dependency. An empowered place to begin all healing is to acknowledge that you have everything already. Relationships are a mirror for you. They show you what to work on or work through. And when two people are willing to do the work; to communicate and take radical responsibility for themselves then true emotional safety can be achieved.
Space holding takes skill. To be grounded enough to hold your silence and allow the other to express and confess. To truly listen without re-course to offering solutions. This form of active listening, this way of witnessing the other in relationships is very powerful.
As I move through the layers of self-inquiry and tap deeper into myself I can see with clearer vision. The power and potency of healing in relationships needs a degree of detachment. Understanding the role of the people in our lives, and ours in theirs. Understanding and honouring the moment as the moment. Not all people are there for the harvest. Some are just there to help you plant the seeds. Others come and tend to the soil and some are watering you and vise versa. All these moments in time are part of the growth of you. Seeing value in all of these interactions with detachment is the guiding principle of healing in relationships.
Healing in relationships for me is about having someone witness my transformation. To help me see those parts of myself that are still invisible. Relationships have that potential. I have learnt a lot about my capacity to give and receive love. I continue to refine my boundaries and strengthen my voice. I can see how this allows me to be soft. I can feel my compassion and the nurture I have to share. I can also step into my “no” a lot more easily as I tune my body, mind and spirit into alignment with my inner compass.
When you start to look at every aspect of life as abundance, as life expressing itself through you. Then you can free yourself from everything that no longer serves you. You always have a choice in life, no matter the types of relationships you find yourself in. You get to decide your level of participation. You get to decide how someone’s energy affects you. Empower yourself in this way. For this is the path to healing in relationships.
Nazanin Marashian 