As I look back on this month of May I am incredulous on the sheer magnitude of events, awakenings, synchronicities and healing that was packed into these 31 days. Each day was fully lived that is for sure.
I can truly say with certainty that my whole life has turned, not only a new page, but a whole new book of Nazanin has begun with this month. Chapter One defiantly had a sizzling start!
May is my birthday month. Since I was 15 years old I have dreamed about going to Uluru. For those who don’t know Uluru is a very sacred site for the First Nation people. It is a portal into the heart of Australia. There is a lot of men’s business and women’s business, cosmology, and creation stories that is held within the site. The moment finally arrived to go and I had the privilege of going with my amazing Mother.
One of the by-lines for the advertisements of the Alice Springs resort is “ feel the silence” in Uluru. And it is exactly that. There is this reverence, an internal quiet of the desert with this ginormous rock in the middle of it. It is a site that heals the heart and I can attest to that. It was my intention to release all that no longer served me and let go of the melancholy that seemed to always follow me around , especially on my birthday. This year I felt ready to change that permanently. I wanted to feel my heart smiling.
Each year on my birthday I would do a stock take of my life and do a mental life review. As the time approached to go to Uluru I realised that much of the sadness I felt had to do with my actual birth story.
My beautiful mother being so young when she had me found herself alone in the hospital, having to labour on her own. The fear that she felt and the sense of dislocation and lack of safety has stayed with me too. I was also born on the eve of the Islamic Revolution in Iran, so there was all of this collective unconscious feeling of insecurity and upheaval. All of that greeted me on my birth and having this awareness and feeling the magnitude of alignment, wow I am going to the heart of Australia, to this sacred site, with my own birth mother to re-write the story.
The site itself was really magnificent. Where we were dropped off was at the Mala site, which is the most sacred part of the rock. The high energy was palpable. The winds were wild, we couldn’t walk in. I said to my mum that we need to announce ourselves to the spirits of the land here and ask permission to enter and declare our intentions for healing. It was a very emotive moment and when we did that the winds stopped and it felt like a door way opened for us to enter.
The most gentle and transformational healing occurred. I’ve done a lot of shadow work in my time, a lot of inner work and its been very painful, but this time, not at all. It was like being embraced by the Divine Mother. We both felt incredibly held, safe and loved. Interestingly, everywhere we looked we could see hearts, in the tree silhouettes, in the shape of the leaves, in the sand.
There was so much beauty being enveloped between the sun and the moon, the horizon was very low and it felt like I could reach out and touch the stars. There were so many insights and moments of epiphany. This experience opened my heart in ways that I could never have imagined. To look at nature with the eyes of my heart, to look at my fellow man and woman with eyes of my heart. To look at my children and all of my experiences until this moment with the eyes of my heart. There is no judgement there, there is only love, there’s only peace, there’s only safety, only serenity. In that wisdom gained I could feel my heart smiling and celebrating, “yes she has come home” I could hear whispered in the winds.
The heart speaks softly, moves slowly and transmits volumes in every beat. As I brought my focus to my heart, I was able to hear my own heart beat in that silence and sync it in with the rise and fall of the light of the sun and the beautiful changing colours of the landscape across the rock. I felt the highest form of love in those moments, agape. The love of all things .
That is what it feels like to see with the eyes of the heart. There is no judgement, only love. And the more I am aware of myself, the more I feel an incredible openness and love that is wanting to be shared with the world and manifested in all of my interactions. Yes, I have been re-birthed into a cocoon of safety, love and gentleness.
I am sending you all some of that heart healing and safety now more than ever in this world, We must remember there is always hope and beauty as long as the heart beats.
May our collective heart feel that stillness. Feel the silence. Feel the beginning and the middle and the new nowness, because there is no end, it’s just a continuation of life expressing itself through love.
May we all learn how to see with the eyes of the heart.
Nazanin Marashian 