There are many initiations in our lives that mark transition and growth. In each culture and timeline there are various rituals that celebrate these milestones. One I want to speak about is Motherhood.
My own experience into the deepest transformation of my life begins with this passage from Maiden to Mother both symbolically and literally.
What does it mean to be “mother”? I struggled for years with this new role and a deep agony of feeling so limited in many ways kept me in darkness and frustration.
Mother: the giver and sustainer of life; such a great responsibility that nothing can prepare you for.
My body: the temporary home that nurtured three incredible humans; stretched to limits I could never have imagined.
My mind: warped beyond recognition re-writing what came before having children.
My heart: cracked wide open with the visceral touch of what unconditional love feels like.
Each child born is a new passage into Motherhood. A deepening and expansion of who I am and the smashing up of the framework of what culture, society and upbringing shows us about what it means to be a mother.
My initiation into motherhood has been about letting go and being in flow. My challenge of needing to “do something” and “control everything” had to be released. These little humans have no notion of yesterday and tomorrow. They live in the purity of being connected to the all, the ever presence of NOWNESS. Most certainly my children have reminded me that being rather than doing is the true path to joyfullness.
With my first two children it took me a fair while to work all that out. After many years of peeling back layers and making space for baby 3 to emerge I felt totally comfortable in the skin of “mother”. His conception was truly an act of divine union. A conscious creation speckled with so much magic.
I had the most empowering pregnacy filled with ceremony and committed spiritual practice. I co-created an extremely powerful Blessingway Ceremony with my dearest sisters and medicine women Beata Alfoldi and Carmen Rosa Morales. A day of strength, healing and beauty.
A strength I called on continiously as this time round I didn’t get the birth experience I imagined. It was all very sudden and very traumatic. Becoming a NICU mum with my little guy in hospital for the first 3 months of life fighting for survival thrust me into a whole new terrrain of uncharted experience.
We have been home for 7 weeks already and our hospital experience seems like a distant nightmare, an unreal time that is slowly erasing as we heal together as a family and watch him thriving. A miracle indeed.
This initiation was and continues to be filled with re-awakenings. My warrior child has shown me what the true strength of a mother is. He has shown me the power of prayer, the magic of divine timing, what it is to be totally present; that we are not our bodies and that love is THE most powerful medicine. He has taken me into the underworld several times and back to the surface so I can see the light with new eyes. He has gathered an incredible community around him and captured the hearts of all who meet him.
My initiation into motherhood this time is re-framing how I see myself, the work I am to offer and my path aligned with these three beauties. The big and small of it all still unfolding, but I am thrilled to say my first workshop for 2019 is ready to be shared.
~Goddess Healing Journey ~
A immersive experience into the realm of the Goddess to restore, nurture and support women back to remembering the depths of their creative potential. Please see my events page for details.
And to all the mothers out there please remember to be gentle with yourself and take a moment to breathe. You are amazing.
Big love to all