Rawsome

I have reflected deeply this month on how I now navigate so many aspects of my life, post- 40. As I approach the end of this decade and edge closer to 50 I can truly say that I have stopped ” editing myself”. I no longer feel the impulse to keep quiet and curate my reactions. I am totally embracing my ” too muchness: and it feels, raw and awesome at the same time. I feel that this year is going in that direction for me. The raw-some beginning reflects this deeply.

Rawsome is the radical permission to feel your feelings—fully, honestly, without apology—and to trust that those feelings are not flaws to be fixed, but information to be honoured.

As I approach the big 50 – I am learning that life is less about becoming someone new and more about unlearning who you were told to be. This “unlearning” allows for that authentic rawsomeness to seep to the surface and be celebrated.

I unlearned the idea that my emotions are too much and need to stay quiet. I unlearned the belief that being liked was more important than being comfortable with my decisions. I unlearned the reflex to shrink discomfort so others could remain secure and ” safe”.

Instead, I began to notice my body. The tightness in my chest when I said yes but meant no. The heaviness that followed conversations where I abandoned myself. The quiet joy that bubbled up when I spoke the truth gently but firmly. The re-discovery of my feminine power, and the removal of shame. The process of being me- totally rawsome.

Truthfully though, in relationships being rawsome is terrifying—and exquisite.

It’s saying, “This matters to me,” without rehearsing an escape plan.
It’s letting yourself be seen in your longing, your tenderness, your fear of loss.
It’s choosing curiosity over defensiveness, truth over control.

I stopped asking, “How do I stay lovable?”
And started asking, “How do I stay true?”

Love rooted in authenticity doesn’t promise permanence. It promises presence. And presence—real, felt, embodied presence—is the greatest intimacy there is.

There is a power in feeling it all and feeling it truthfully. Rawsome is not about indulging every emotion or living in chaos. It’s about allowing before choosing. Letting it ripple through the body and to be felt before enacted. This is the subtly of rawsomeness. And its the hallmark of our humanity as well. The body keeps the score nonetheless. And feeling is part of our human experiences.

Feelings are not facts. Feelings are weather systems—they move when acknowledged.
Suppressed, they stagnate. Welcomed, they transform. When I allow myself to feel grief, joy, rage, desire, disappointment, hope—without judgment—I gain clarity. And from clarity comes choice. I can respond instead of react. I can lead my life instead of bracing against it.

Of course, the forces of nature can sweep us away easily, and in coming back to this notion of rawsomeness has allowed me to stay surprising grounded. I often hear myself saying “that is enough for today” and give myself that spaciousness that is needed to start over. Or even the permission to stay longer. The rain is not always a bad thing. Feeling the ripples and droplets falling on our skin can be delightful experience.

Rawsome is devotion—to truth, to wholeness, to a life lived from the inside out.

And perhaps the greatest gift of life after 40 is this:

The realisation that you no longer need permission from anyone else.

You can give it to yourself.

To feel.
To choose.
To live.
To love.

Fully. Authentically. Rawsomely.